You will have heard the phrase "What You See is What You Get" and it is just as true for your speech. Self-Talk or what you say when speaking to yourself is the process of helping you change your results through changing the quality of your thoughts. How you comment on life has a way of bouncing back on you.
Consider the words that come out of your mouth and the thoughts you have. Little by little improve the quality of them, stop using critical language, start to create positive images in your mind. Reflect on good outcomes for your projects and begin to visualize the best results that are possible.
Speak well of yourself and others, of their ability and yours. Guess what? You will get what you see consistently in your mind's eye. Start to see good things happening and they will.
Try these simple and clear affirmations for effect and watch what happens in your life:
- "I am having a good day and great things are happening for me"
- "My life works."
- "I respect myself and my behavior and this gets me great results in all I do."
- "Applying my natural talents to the tasks in front of me allows me to be successful."
- "By identifying and choosing the results I want to achieve, I am likely to do the work necessary to get those same results."
- "My connection to my intuition and abilities is sufficient to create productive and successful outcomes in the goals that are truly important to me."
- "I like myself."
- "If it's to be, it's up to me."
Since your own mind is the one that you spend most of your time conversing with it makes perfect sense for you to speak with yourself in a way that is loving, appreciative and supportive.
A friend in Western Canada wrote me about how she had been experiencing such hard times in all areas of her life. Her personal finances were in a mess and she could not get any increase in earnings at work. At home she and her partner were frequently arguing and fighting over things that were almost inconsequential and yet caused great fights between them.
By taking the time to reflect on her own thoughts and the inner conversation she was having with herself, she was able to see that the words and language she had been using were largely self-critical. Around the subject of work and advancement within the company she had been thinking that her co-workers were better qualified and better skilled than herself, effectively dumbing down her own talent and ability. In her private life she was holding onto thoughts about her and her partner having nothing in common, and not being interested in any joint pastimes or activities.
Over a period of months she began to gently monitor her thoughts and the self-talk, inserting new phrases that helped her to recognise and acknowledge her skills in the workplace and the contribution she was capable of making at home. In her relationship she started to introduce more self-talk about her love for her partner and for his appreciation of her. Over time the friction between them lessened to the point that they were able to enjoy each others company again and develop their relationship to where they each wanted it to be.
The way you think and the quality or direction of those thoughts can have such a profound direct impact on your life that you should take some moments to consider how you are thinking.
Thoughts that are generally non-supportive might come though as worries, doubts or fears. More damaging still are thoughts around resentfulness, jealousy and anger. None of these can be of any real use to you and simply take up space in your thinking from other better trains of thought that could otherwise enhance your self-esteem, build your inner confidence and allow you to be more engaged with others on a daily basis.
Are you really able to hold onto a lingering thoughts of resentment about something that did not work out for you in the past, and still engage in an active conversation with a friend in the present moment? Unlikely. So you may as well begin to look at the way your thinking is creating your reality each day, and determine to have it work for you rather than against you.