by admin | Jan 28, 2021 | Debt
Debt can do terrible things to your self-esteem, to your sense of purpose about what you can and should do. How you mentally and emotionally approach the debt you have is something you need to be careful about. I know that when I was at my lowest emotional state I had let my debts get the better of me. I was making the false assumption that I was my debts and that my debts were me, that I was not separate from them. Debts are just money recorded in a certain way. No more than this. But in my head I had resorted to 'stinking thinking' and was hurting myself and those around me by my terrible and destructive attitude.
For a couple of years this was plain to see for anyone who was foolish enough to talk with me. All they got for their support and gentle encouragement was an ear bashing about the unfairness of life. How low I sank while my focus was on a personal pity-party! But this is why I can say nowadays that you must take the time to see quite how much you already have in your life that is good and positive. Put your focus on whatever gives you real insight into who you are and what is precious and special and important for you.
You have people in your life who are quite capable of telling you how off-track you have been, if you will just let them. Such negative influence does you no good and you can get rid of these influences completely, or begin to limit the time you send in such company through being aware that your diary is your own. Don't let your debt anxiety and money worry overload get in the way of you maintaining and nurturing those relationships with your friends.
Take a moment right now to acknowledge what you have got. This can be something that you write down as a list or can be a process that you simply think through, picturing in your mind all the good that you already have around you. I believe the actual process of writing this down is more powerful than simply thinking it through, because you involve several more sense if you are having to think, to feel, to touch and to see what you write out.
Take a walk around your home and see what you have in your space. Pick up objects that have real significance to you. This could be a photo of an occasion, a book that helped you, a film which moved you, a toy from childhood, or perhaps a piece of furniture with real memories. Count your blessings and realize how much you have going for you. Be grateful for what you have and do not be surprised for the additional good that makes its way into your life. Let go of the stupid and pointless Pity Party. Just be you.
by admin | Dec 31, 2020 | Debt
Your website developer has issued you with an invoice for their work. Your book-keeper has sent you an email telling you the amount that you owe for the work she has done to get your accounts in order to get you to a place where because of her work you will have an accurate figure for your likely tax bill this year. Your landlord has sent you a reminder of your rent payment date, along with a letter that provides the details of her switch to a new business bank account.
You figure that you can send just half of the agreed figure to your web developer. You delay the money to your book-keeper another week and claim to have been too busy to make the payment. You don't pay the rent until the landlord chases you with a polite SMS message asking when you paid the rent and tells you she is trying to match your credit against others she has in her account this week. You reply with a message that you didn't get the new bank details and will send straightaway.
With this attitude you've lost the confidence of your website supporter and also of the person you really need to help keep your tax bill down. You've tricked your landlord out of prompt payment for your accommodation and you think you've done yourself a favour. But now it's only three weeks until the next months rent is due. You've only fooled yourself.
Paying for your Bank Account.
You pay a monthly amount of $10 or $20 to your bank and you allow them to take this from your account in exchange for points that are supposed to add up to something exciting like a discount on shopping at stores you don't frequently use, or that gives you reduced entry tickets to a theme park you will never visit. You do this, you allow them to charge for such a "privilege" account, but at the same time you have debts that are greater than the amount of $120 or $240 you are handing over each year.
Similar to the bank account, you might have a membership of a VIP Dining Card scheme that you pay a monthly fee for, and yet you either don't use the card enough for it to be a worthwhile membership or you go out to such meals and sit there sweating at the prospect of the bill after the meal being more than you know you should be spending. If you are uncomfortable then stop kidding yourself that this is a real or relevant thing in your life. Get your money in order and enjoy a meal as a reward for sorting things out.
It's not the 1st of the month again, is it?
You open your online banking account secretly hoping that there is $1,000 in your account and are disappointed or even angry when you see that you have just $180 available now that the water, electric and gas monies have been taken out, along with the grocery store money and the petrol from the weekend. You are a week from getting your next wage credit to your account and you know you will struggle to get through these next days. The chemist will need to be paid $37 for your prescription drugs today. Your car really does need two new front tires at $60 each tire, and the weather is not good. There is a $29 school meal invoice to be paid. You complain that life is not fair to you! Everyone else has it so much easier than you!
Get this into your head. It is irrelevant where other people are with their money. It is pointless thinking about anything other than what you can start to do differently or better around the way that you deal with your money.
Start to pay something against each bill that you receive. That you cannot clear the bill does not matter. Pay something. This is not about protecting your credit rating which is irrelevant right now. What you have to do is get into the habit of paying something towards what you owe.
The action of making the payment gets you closer to the psychological place you need to be in to get rid of your debts.
by admin | Dec 3, 2020 | Debt
In my first full-time job I used the pages of a Filofax as a diary and organising tool which came with lots of handy sheets to track money in and out. Nowadays, all types of journals and day planners exist to support you in monitoring to tracking your spending. Many of these can be bought cheaply at supermarkets as well as stationery stores, and the journal will often have a pocket in the back for you to keep tickets and receipts. Online software and apps for your phone make the ability to see pictures of your spending very easy indeed. You can just as easily insert spending items into your phone app and build up the spending pattern during the day, seeing it on a large screen when you get back to your laptop or PC. If you are visually motivated these tools will be a real help. If you are tactile in your approach then pen and paper will be what works for you. The key thing is to find a process that is easy for you because you enjoy it. If it's complicated you won't be giving yourself any incentive.
A pocket notebook that is easy to fit in your coat, or an envelope can both fulfil the role of place to store your receipts. There is no need for you to spend any real money to capture the record of where you spend and what you buy with your money. The key is to make sure every expenditure gets logged somehow. If you buy with a debit card at the shop counter or the service station you will naturally be given a receipt. With simple cash transactions at the hardware store or in the green grocer shop you will either have to ask for a receipt or finish the purchase, reach for your notebook and write down what you just bought and the cost of it.
If you're reading this at lunchtime you can still start to log your spending until you go to bed tonight. Tomorrow you can do a full day of recording the way that money is going through your hands.
The rules are simple:
1. Record each expenditure. Don't miss one.
2. Write down the detail as soon as you can after spending the money.
3. Log the exact amount, to the actual penny.
It's really simple to do this. From now on, you'll not put $50 in your pocket at the start of the day and then wonder at night why you have just $7.37 left over in change. You will know where the money went and what you spent it on.
Maintaining the daily record and learning from the pattern of your spending in this way, puts you back in control, not just of your money but of your life. From knowing the numbers behind your spending you then become conscious of your choices over what you buy. Only once you are fully aware of this can you start to make more informed decisions.
by admin | Jun 9, 2020 | Simple Self Help
Money will come to you to the extent that you offer a service that is of value. Of course, you could marry money, inherit money or even win it on the lottery, but the reality is that either one of those methods involves you in some processes you might either feel sorry for or sad about later!
The greater the value you offer, the greater the inflow of money. If you ever find yourself thinking you are earning less money than you are worth, then you need to look at your contribution to service. When people know that you offer something of value, they will turn up in droves to hand over their money.
Receiving money can be as simple as asking for it in the first place! When was the last time you actually stopped racing around and said aloud "I need more money and welcome it now" instead of simply spending hours worrying about the lack of money you were experiencing at the time?
For whatever reason, it is very easy to push away money in the same way and for often the same reasons that we push away so much of the goodness and the riches that life has to offer us. One reason we reject it is because we are unable to receive with ease and without guilt. So the more time you can put into receiving with pleasure and to saying 'thank you' for all the abundance that the Universe has to offer you, the more likely it is that you will start to notice some great things turning up in your life.
Being able to receive is crucial to your earning money for you will turn opportunities away until you can receive without concern or without worry. Simply receive in the moment.
If you are experiencing lack of inflow and plenty of outflow, you need to reverse the trend. The easiest and simplest way is for you to review and reflect upon the value of the work you do, and the people you deliver it to.
- What skills can you offer? How about a level of service, support or problem solving?
- What are you good at naturally that your friends and co-workers often express surprise about or ask for your help with?
- Do a skills audit of your abilities and talents, of those of your friends and family.
- Look at the amount of money that these skills and talents can be worth in the right market place. Notice that I said "the RIGHT market place." Having the right talents applied to the wrong market, to the wrong audience group, or to the wrong potential client, will have no value as you will have missed the mark.
Get creative over your ability to earn and to attract money into your experience. Start with something simple and develop from this level upwards. Take an example such as manifesting or attracting to you a cup of coffee or a big smile from someone on the street. Once you have managed this and proven to yourself how easy it can be to receive what you put out for, then you can move onto bigger and better things and situations.
Just the same is true for money. You might begin with saying to yourself "I am attracting the funds needed to pay for my car maintenance" and then let go of any attachment to the outcome. All manner of things could happen to get you the desired end result of having the car maintenance bill settled. It could be that someone gives you the money as a gift, or you receive a tax credit for a matching amount of money, or maybe you find a windfall to the same amount. What matters is that you ask for the result and let the money make its own way to you.
To attract money from your job or a small business that you choose to set up and run, first decide what service you will offer and then commit to delivering that service. Invest time and energy in identifying the buyers for your skills, services, products and talents. Make it your business to be in business with these buyers.
In the context of your job, invest your energies in becoming a valuable resource for the business that employs you.
Learn more about your niche, develop your skills in such a way as to make you more important to the success of the company. This might be through online learning, attending in-house training events, or simply through getting involved within your local business community.
As your work related learning and abilities grow, it is very likely that this will be matched with greater opportunities and benefits that can be measured in terms of reward and money.
When this happens be ready for it, and make sure that you take those rewards to the bank!
by admin | May 12, 2020 | Simple Self Help
Money is a topic that so few of us ever learn at school or from our family when growing up. I mean, how are you supposed to get a financial role model from a schoolteacher who is just surviving on salary that is only enough for them to pay their own bills, let alone develop your own savings and patterns of Financial Independence?
We have to learn about it now and we have to get on with it. Every month that you refuse to acknowledge and learn the basic principles of financial success and money management is another month wasted, and another month of compound interest missing from your savings. Before you can know it you have to learn it and there sure as hell is no better way to learn it than to start handling money right now in your life.
Facing the subject of money and the emotion that it brings up for all of us is a strong beginning to dealing with the whole subject. An example of facing money as a topic might be something as simple and straight forward as opening an envelope that arrives and which you know contains a bill. Once you get the bill out you are in a position to file it and set a date for it to get paid.
Keep a running file of the amounts you owe and track the money you have coming in. When it comes to handling and managing money, your conscious awareness is nine tenths of the reason for your success. The less you know about your financial situation, the more you deny needing to own and control the detail, the more likely it is that you will struggle to attract it and keep it.
The last thing you should do is leave opening the post until another day or until you think you might have some cash in to pay it. By opening the post and dealing with it you are back in control of your situation.
One significant key to getting in control of your money is the ability to speak to your creditors, the people you owe something to. Once they know that you are communicating with them, much of their nervousness around the debt you owe will reduce. This allows you to make steady and constant payments within your budget, reducing your debt until it is all gone.
Being aware of your numbers is one of the keys to understanding and being in control of your finances. If you are bringing in enough money you can meet your bills and save. If you know your numbers each day, then you will also know when it is time to turn up the energy and attract more money into your life.
by admin | Apr 14, 2020 | Simple Self Help
While knowing what you want is a useful skill in life and a great way of thinking to move things forward and to improve your circumstances, there is a vast difference between knowing as a logical activity and visualizing as a means of bringing the emotions of that circumstance closer to you.
To really feel, and see and to build a clear picture of how you want your situation to be is a greatly more powerful way forward.
For many years I struggled enormously with my moods, allowing the feelings of guilt and shame from my past, the untaken opportunities, and the regretted behaviors to cause me pain and great sadness. I allowed the baggage and the discomfort to come along with each day, permitting the past to not only distort, but even damage the present moment that I was in. It sometimes felt as though I was actually inviting it to join me for the day!
Can you imagine yourself doing anything so silly as encouraging a group of people you either dislike, find uncomfortable to be around or simply cannot bear, to be with you for hours at a time and at your own request? No of course not! I didn't think you were so foolish so it must just have been me and my crazy ways of thinking.
Starting slowly and with small attempts at recovering myself, I used to talk with friends who had made the move from where they had been emotionally and in a place they did not want, to stepping gradually into a space that was more supportive, more true to who they really were.
They explained that a significant part of their own improvement had come from the act of foreseeing or envisioning the situation that they wanted to create for themselves. A friend who was constantly struggling with unfulfilled relationships began to create a picture in his mind of himself and a beautiful woman who would understand him, share her dreams with him, and with whom he could develop a safe and loving relationship.
Over a period of several months working with this picture he attracted several good women into his life, and eventually one with whom he entered into a truly loving relationship. In this new relationship he found himself feeling safe and cherished for the first time in his adult life.
A young couple who were living in a cramped first floor apartment in the city, and making barely enough each month to cover their rent and utility bills, wanted desperately to make the break to the suburbs where they felt they could spend the same amount of money on a small house with a garden. Keen to start a family together, but unsure that the city was the right place for them to bring up a child in such shabby surroundings, they were encouraged to work with visualizing the kind of place they wanted to be in.
They began to cut pictures of living spaces, homes and gardens from magazines, postcards, street scenes of small communities, and any images that they felt represented the sort of place where they wanted to move to. They placed the pictures on several notice boards around their apartment and kept their faith that the Universe would support them in their goal.
A month into the building of their dream boards, the woman received a call from a friend at work. She was ringing to ask if they wanted to look at a house ten miles out of town in a beautiful semi-rural community on the outskirts of the city. It belonged to a family member who wanted either to sell or to rent the place out. They jumped at the chance to go see the place and inspect it for themselves. When they got out there it was precisely what they wanted and the living room and garden were virtually identical to two of the pictures that they had been envisioning and working with for that past month!
Visualizing what you want means putting yourself in a place emotionally and mentally where you can see in your mind's eye the ideal outcome that you want to attract to you.
It differs from Goal Setting as a process, but builds upon that activity. By creating the picture you are involving more senses than just thought. The visual image involves your sight. Putting yourself physically in the place you imagine allows you to engage your physical senses of touch, sound, even taste, as you imagine and visualize yourself in that place, that circumstance, participating in that desired opportunity. While you are there you can allow your emotions to complete the picture by feeling what it is like to be there and to have the sensations all around you.
Begin to visualize today. Start with something small that you would like to have happen or which you would like to attract. Notice the feelings you associate with the outcome being achieved and allow yourself to explore how good it feels to have this happening for you.
by admin | Mar 17, 2020 | Simple Self Help
You have just one life and this comprises thousands of single days.
How you use your time is something written about in a hundred books. Lots of people are efficient at "time management" but dreadfully ineffective personally. Time management is not the answer.
You need to decide what you are looking to do each day and have a plan for this the night before. Make a simple list of the things ahead of you. This is easy enough. Then prioritize them according to your values and what is important to you. It is this step that takes the thoughtfulness, but which then gives you a list of tasks and activities that will make you effective in a powerful way.
Effectiveness means cutting through the everyday "stuff" that turns up in your diary and in-box, and getting on with what matters to you and what will really make a difference for you.
My friend and neighbour Simon is a complete wizard at dealing with paperwork and email. I once invited him over to the house to help me take back control of my desk. Not only did we go through a tonne of papers, files, letters, magazines, articles, bills, and emails, but we threw so much of it away that I was amazed.
We did the same with the contents of my filing cabinets and ended up getting money in for the office furniture and storage that was no longer needed. I had been hanging on to information in case I might one day need it. I was rather scared at throwing out all this "stuff" I had accumulated. Guess what he said to me?
"If it was really important, the people who sent it can let you have another version and most of them could even send it to you electronically and do away with the mass of paper."
What you will be doing from this moment on is a result of choosing where you focus your attention. I dislike the phrase "attention management" and suggest instead you just get on with it.
Rather than being driven by the time-bound calendar approach consider assessing what needs to be done on the basis of your values, your choices, and the things that make your life the exciting journey it is for you.
Measure your effectiveness by whether you are moving forward with the projects of importance to you. Everything else can go.
by admin | Feb 18, 2020 | Simple Self Help
Ever notice that people do stupid things that seem to hurt and upset you? Do you honestly think they really do all the dumb, crazy and stupid things they do, just to get you upset? Get real! They probably don't even know half the time that you are even aware of their own stuff. Do you really think that you can change them or their behavior unless they want to make the changes for themselves?
It might not be that someone is doing anything at all with a connection intended or otherwise of causing you upset. Years ago when I was broken-hearted that a girl had not noticed me, let alone done anything to encourage me to spend time with her, my friend Glenn put it perfectly.
"While you are sitting around at home and moping, she's out dancing."
He was right! In that instance I did not even figure in her thinking and yet I was reacting to nothing and imagining the worst of everything. Who was suffering in all of this ridiculous one sided 'pity-party' way of thinking? Only me!
What good is it doing you to hang onto critical thinking about other people? How much energy are you using up in holding negative and hurtful or painful thoughts about someone? Someone might actually be a jerk. Is it going to have much impact on your life? Not unless you choose to let it. Let them go. Free up some space in your mind and your heart for other better things to come in. You do want something better, don't you?
Other people's stuff is just that, it is theirs. It is not yours. One of the quickest ways for you to get yourself stressed out is to judge that:
a) what someone else does or how they lead their life is wrong, and
b) that it is your mission to either do something about it or to be affected by it.
Likewise, if you have found yourself imposing pain and upset on others and are aware of doing it, then stop now.
What right do you have to create this pain and hassle on them?
Closer to home, what good is it doing you anyway? What is the payback or benefit you get from wasting your energy this way?
I doubt you will see a single benefit worth holding out for and suggest you look in the mirror and let go of this behavior. Immediately.
You might just end up being happier and less stressed! That's what you can call a result!
by admin | Jan 21, 2020 | Simple Self Help
You will have heard the phrase "What You See is What You Get" and it is just as true for your speech. Self-Talk or what you say when speaking to yourself is the process of helping you change your results through changing the quality of your thoughts. How you comment on life has a way of bouncing back on you.
Consider the words that come out of your mouth and the thoughts you have. Little by little improve the quality of them, stop using critical language, start to create positive images in your mind. Reflect on good outcomes for your projects and begin to visualize the best results that are possible.
Speak well of yourself and others, of their ability and yours. Guess what? You will get what you see consistently in your mind's eye. Start to see good things happening and they will.
Try these simple and clear affirmations for effect and watch what happens in your life:
- "I am having a good day and great things are happening for me"
- "My life works."
- "I respect myself and my behavior and this gets me great results in all I do."
- "Applying my natural talents to the tasks in front of me allows me to be successful."
- "By identifying and choosing the results I want to achieve, I am likely to do the work necessary to get those same results."
- "My connection to my intuition and abilities is sufficient to create productive and successful outcomes in the goals that are truly important to me."
- "I like myself."
- "If it's to be, it's up to me."
Since your own mind is the one that you spend most of your time conversing with it makes perfect sense for you to speak with yourself in a way that is loving, appreciative and supportive.
A friend in Western Canada wrote me about how she had been experiencing such hard times in all areas of her life. Her personal finances were in a mess and she could not get any increase in earnings at work. At home she and her partner were frequently arguing and fighting over things that were almost inconsequential and yet caused great fights between them.
By taking the time to reflect on her own thoughts and the inner conversation she was having with herself, she was able to see that the words and language she had been using were largely self-critical. Around the subject of work and advancement within the company she had been thinking that her co-workers were better qualified and better skilled than herself, effectively dumbing down her own talent and ability. In her private life she was holding onto thoughts about her and her partner having nothing in common, and not being interested in any joint pastimes or activities.
Over a period of months she began to gently monitor her thoughts and the self-talk, inserting new phrases that helped her to recognise and acknowledge her skills in the workplace and the contribution she was capable of making at home. In her relationship she started to introduce more self-talk about her love for her partner and for his appreciation of her. Over time the friction between them lessened to the point that they were able to enjoy each others company again and develop their relationship to where they each wanted it to be.
The way you think and the quality or direction of those thoughts can have such a profound direct impact on your life that you should take some moments to consider how you are thinking.
Thoughts that are generally non-supportive might come though as worries, doubts or fears. More damaging still are thoughts around resentfulness, jealousy and anger. None of these can be of any real use to you and simply take up space in your thinking from other better trains of thought that could otherwise enhance your self-esteem, build your inner confidence and allow you to be more engaged with others on a daily basis.
Are you really able to hold onto a lingering thoughts of resentment about something that did not work out for you in the past, and still engage in an active conversation with a friend in the present moment? Unlikely. So you may as well begin to look at the way your thinking is creating your reality each day, and determine to have it work for you rather than against you.
by Nick Sturgeon | Jan 7, 2020 | Declutter
I volunteered recently at a countryside youth hostel for walkers and climbers, in the heart of the beautiful English Lake District. I was part of a ten person group who were there to prepare the hostel for the next six months of heavy use by visitors. We all worked together to clear rooms of furniture in advance of commercial carpet cleaners. In small teams of two and three we painted the common room and dining rooms, we painted corridors and stairwells. One day I worked outside and pushed wheelbarrows of gravel to create the paths around the campsite. On another I chopped up small branches and old timber pallets to create the kindling for the open fire in the main common room and bar area.
It was a brilliant week away from home, working at practical tasks each day and then being free in the late afternoon for a walk on the mountains that surrounded us and a chat in the bar and by the log fire each evening. Each day I chatted with whoever I was paired up with for our work and it was fascinating to see a glimpse of the lighter life in action for these other volunteers.
Rob had been working for the past year at a timber chalet holiday home site in Austria, ensuring that six cabins were always ready for the scheduled arrival of holiday makers. He had arrived back from Austria just a week before our working party in the Lake District. The next week he was going on to repeat the process at a hostel in Ambleside. Then again at other youth hostels in Keswick, Longthwaite, Settle, and on to York. All attractive places in the UK. In all he was going to be living and volunteering in eight different hostels on working parties over three months until he takes up a full time job at an adventure holiday site in Scotland from March to October.
Through our conversations I learned that he had only as many clothes as he needs for two weeks in between washing them. He keeps these in his car along with a laptop and half a dozen paperback books for his entertainment. He has no home and very few possessions. The few things he regards as valuable he keeps stored at his stepmom’s house. Otherwise he lives by attending working parties at hostels for three months of each year and receiving a small amount of expenses money each time. The other nine months of the year he does paid full time work at holiday sites where he receives his accommodation for free.
He saves successfully because with no accommodation costs and all his food provided by the adventure camps, what can he spend money on. For two or three nights every ten days, between each volunteer week, he will either sleep in his car or stay over at a friends house, or go back to stay with his stepmother. Rob is 48 years old and has been doing this for the last ten years. He is financially independent and has significant savings.
The conversation with him about not having many possessions, not owning a house, and never having owned one, was a new perspective for me and opened up some fresh ways of looking at his experience and his approach to ownership, home and money. The obvious light-bulb moment for me was the realisation that for so many regular volunteers the companionship they get while on a working holiday is the reason they return so frequently to such weeks.
