by admin | Jul 14, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Creating the life you want, and producing the results that matter to you is about ensuring you are clear on the values by which you live and lead that same life. If you expect challenges you may get them. If you anticipate a bed of roses and an easy walk through the park, it is likely you will get this or something akin to it. Develop the focus that supports you.
Your vision and the values by which you lead your life each day are crucial in underpinning the results you get and the actions you take in order to create the results you want.
If the vision you have is a measure of the breadth of your ambition then expanding your vision is likely to have a corresponding impact on the results that you achieve. Tied in very closely with this is the matter of the values that you embrace and live with as your pursue your vision of a life that truly reflects not only what you want, but also who you are.
The values you hold might be such things as honesty, hard work, thrift, balance, happiness, friendship, trust, self-discipline and others. Each one that you identify and adopt for yourself is a piece of your own personal jigsaw. In the same way that principles are timeless so too are values. These values act as a benchmark by which you can judge and assess not just the progress that you are making towards your goals, but also serve to help you measure yourself against colleagues and friends, clients and suppliers, relatives and family members.
A man spoke with me not long ago about an issue he was concerned about and which was based upon the clash of his vision and his values. While he was making more than adequate progress financially with the business he ran in his home town, he often found himself looking at other business owners who appeared to have more money, greater status in the chamber of commerce and greater success in life.
The issue that he wanted to discuss with me was abut the dilemma he found himself in. Knowing of a way to adapt his business that would allow him to make greater profits and bank much more money, his concern and the sense of his anxiety he presented me with was this - he could achieve the new contracts but only at the cost of doing some things that went against his most heartfelt values about the need for business to be a win- win relationship. Wanting always to feel that he gave a fair service for a fair price, the possibility that he could do some deals where his profit was out of proportion to the service now troubled him. To obtain the new revenues he would be doing things that he knew would cause him to feel guilty, and so he chose to listen to his heart and turned down the opportunity.
As he went away from our discussion he was concerned that he might have missed out on the 'apparently' lucrative deal, but pleased with himself for not having breached his value system.
Just two weeks later he called me up with great delight obvious in his voice as we spoke. He had that morning received an offer of a contract that was in line with his values of decent service, fair contribution and looking after the customer, and which would give him a significant uplift in his profits. He had been rewarded for not selling out his values and for maintaining his self-belief even after the stress of the previous opportunity.
In your own life there will of course be times when the principles and values that you live by will be tested. Equally, you will discover time and again that the more you lead a life in which your vision and values are in alignment together, you will receive rewards and pleasures unheard of by those who do not understand. Hold to what you know and feel to be right.
by admin | Jul 13, 2022 | Simple Self Help
If you say you will be home for hockey practice, or dinner, or a trip to the cinema, don't then ring home to say you have been delayed or that you have to work late. I know and it has cost me dearly! It might have been OK if it was an excuse a couple of times, but to be repeated week after week will get you in deep trouble and understandably so as you begin to realise with sadness that others may end up expecting you to let them down.
One of my friends keeps a special place in his diary for his commitments and this always impressed me so much since I discovered this.
These are distinct from his appointments which are normally times when he has to show up and be in meetings or with family. William's commitments are different. Here he will list the thing he has agreed to do and the date he has promised it by, as well as the outcome of achieving the commitment.
Next to these he has the penalty written down for not accomplishing the commitment. He actually writes down on the paper the true cost of letting someone down if he does not deliver, fails to turn up, gets the report in late or misses the party. I had never seen this recorded before and it struck me how valuable it is to make a commitment and to honour the promise. Seeing his promise and the cost of not delivering written down in black and white in his journal, this was a tremendous wake-up call for me.
In the sense of using this approach like an emotional bank account he knows whether he is in credit or if he is at risk of becoming overdrawn in his relationship with the person to whom he has made the commitment. Is this a little extreme? If it works for you to do something like this yourself, then do what works. It does not matter what others might think about it.
Try it, and see if the real test produces fruit, namely that you break less commitments and honour more promises than you did before. If you can see progress in this approach as opposed to whatever method or behavior you were following before, then you know for yourself you are on track.
A promise to be there for someone is still a promise however you look at it. No matter that your train was late or that you needed to stop for gas and got delayed. In the eyes of the other person maybe you should just have been on the earlier train or filled up with gas the night before.
I can't hold my hand up and say I don't understand this, as I have been late more times than I care to remember and it was only when I focussed on the actual promise made that I found myself turning up on time or leaving early for my destination that I saw the excitement in the eyes of another when I arrived in a timely fashion and was there when I said I would be there.
Your own peace of mind will be enhanced and those around you will notice and comment with pleasure on the change in your behavior.
by admin | Jul 7, 2022 | Declutter
If you are in a financial muddle and wanting to understand the trouble, then brew yourself a coffee, grab those statements and start to hunt for the clues that can help you get back in control. Within those columns of money in and out are the trends and spending patterns that reflect your approach to money.
Look at all transactions for a two month period, particularly at the regular and committed payment arrangements you have set up. Are any of these for Shopping Clubs you no longer participate in, for incentive and Discount Clubs that you joined to save money and yet never have enough money to spend to qualify for the Sports and Leisure or Dining Club activities you were seduced by to begin with. If you find any of these regular payment programmes, cancel the payment and cancel the commitment. Just three or four such items at $10 to $20 a month will save you $300 - $400 and more this year. Keep that money in your account and get the potential benefit of being able to ask for a discount the next time you are going to buy something significant and have the cash available for the barter.
Can you see some transactions you don't recognise? Raise these with your bank and have them check for fraud. Identity theft and false transactions are increasing as fraudsters become more skilled at making tiny deductions to accounts, on the correct idea that most people only query large deductions they don't recognise. It doesn't need to be fraud. You may have a load of small repeat payments for apps or services you have stopped using, but which you have never cancelled.
Are there regular small purchases such as Coffee and Snack Food to and from work each day which might constitute $10 or $20 per day, but which add up to several thousand spent over the course of a whole year? Making up a flask of coffee at home in the morning will save you a huge amount of money that can instead stay in your account and be used for investment and long term income. Take a food pack-up with you a couple of times a week as much for the variety of taste and flavour as for the money savings.
What about files, binders and unopened Financial Post stashed around your home and taking up useful shelf space or occupying cupboards? Get these all out and in one session go through them. If you have any papers that are more than a year old shred and dispose of them. A small shredder for your home will occupy far less space than the volume of unneeded statements, letters, documents and general papers that are taking up space in your life and adding to the stagnant energy.
Stay up to date with Financial Apps that allow you to track your spending or monitor your investment monies easily and all from your phone or laptop. Have you looked at installing a Water Meter to your home so you only get billed for your actual use? How about asking your Energy Company for a free Smart Meter to monitor your usage of gas and electric? With these installed you can actively manage the way you use energy in your home, often adjusting your behaviour simply because you become aware of the cost of usage. It can be tiring to deal with the potential mountain of financial paperwork that comes in to your home. Realise that no matter where the paperwork comes from you can choose what to do with each letter or email.
In your personal finances deal with each monthly summary statement as it comes in, whether by paper or email. Check the expenditure against your receipts. An easy way to do this is to take any purchase receipts from your purse or wallet on a certain day each week and put them in a place where you do your finances. If you don't have any specific filing area at home, each week take the expense receipts for that week and place them in an envelope. When your bank statement comes in simply check off the purchase receipts against the larger monthly statement. Everything should match.
The benefits of being more financially organised include greater peace of mind because you know where things are, more relaxation because you spend less time worrying and less wasted money because you are not repeat buying things that you thought you lost among the clutter. Good decisions are not supported by chaos, disorganisation or by having to look for information. As you sort, organise and structure your financial records you will naturally be drawn to look at their performance and the creation of more financial security and enhanced rewards from your activity.
In becoming better organised with household finances you can get closer to your financial goals, precisely because you know what your money is doing and how it is performing. By getting clear on financial paperwork, statements and information, you will naturally find yourself better able to make decisions about what to do with your assets so that they start to work for you, building your future wealth and financial freedom. The clearer you get with your finances the more likely it is that your money will work better for you.
by admin | Jun 30, 2022 | Simple Self Help
At all times and in every situation you are drawing to you those things that happen around you. No exceptions! So if the life you have does not reflect the life you want then you really need to something about it and fast.
One sure way to step closer to the results you want, is to acknowledge what is going right for you, to identify and give thanks for the things that are working, for those areas where you are pleased and happy with what you have in the moment. The act of showing gratitude will cause more of the same to come to you.
Yet it is not all about what is right in your heart.
You also need to give attention, focus and energy to the practical and logical aspects of attracting the results you want. How are the parameters of your work defined? Who are the people you know can be of service and help to you in determining the outcomes that you want? Have you shared with them the detail of what you seek to bring about with their help? Aside from the people you know, who else might be out there in the wider community, who could be beneficial for you if only you could make contact with them?
Put some thought into describing the people and the physical resources and materials that will take you toward the results that you want. Consider the scope for you to tell people as you meet with them, about what you want to create.
Remember that the Universe will always give you what you ask for and that with this being the case you need to be clear that you are asking for what you want to receive. Only ask for that which you really want. The alternative is to ask for that which would be OK or acceptable or reasonable. The issue in this case would be that the Universe does not know which is truly great, or magnificent or fabulous. But you do know the difference and so you need to ask for the outcomes you want to see turn up in your life.
If you will just let it, then life will always seek to astound you with what it delivers up for you.
Create a Vision Board or a Treasure Map of what you want. From your favourite magazines, books and social posts clip the images and ideas that fill you with inspiration and motivation. The involvement of more of your senses will serve to accelerate the process of your attracting the good that you deserve. From the websites and catalogues that have products and offerings that you love, cut the images that mean something special to you. Pin or paste these onto your Treasure Map, placing the images in such a way that they call to you and encourage you in the pursuit of your goals.
Invest time and energy in being around the people who can lead the way for you or who can introduce you to others within their social or business networks. Build relationships and rapport with those people, and at the same time remember that the flow needs to be a two way thing benefiting others just as they benefit you.
Continue to believe in your own ability to create the results that you seek.
by admin | Jun 28, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Too much to do! Too little time in which to do it or too few resources with which to achieve it. Maybe even both!
If you are anxious about traveling to work, worried about your performance when you are there, distracted by worry at away from your family and loved ones, then face the stress head-on and be honest that you have it. It could be workload, financial pressure, relationship dissatisfaction, health matters. Any number of things have the potential to place you under pressure that is difficult or even impossible to cope with and to deal with.
You may feel tension in your mind or body. It could be that you are experiencing pressure upon your ability to lead a life that is satisfying. Being aware of the stress and being honest enough with yourself that it is there, is the first important step and then you can begin to take action to deal with it one piece at a time.
The other aspect of looking at stress is noting how it is affecting your wider life. I know that when I face more stress that I become irritable and poor company, that I can be grumpy and short tempered. More positively than this though, I know that if I let others know the pressure I am feeling and the way it is impacting me then they can understand. Once they are aware of this then they are free to help me, to participate in my own recovery from the downward spiral or simply to know to let me be and to allow me the space to start working through it!
One thing is certain. Until you are honest with yourself about the issues you face, you will find neither the time, resources or energy to deal with it and your situation will simply deteriorate. Take action now before the issues become more serious and require further external help and support.
Worry is a strange thing, part defense mechanism, part self-protection. It exists to keep us alert and to encourage us to stay sharp in case of danger that we think is lurking somewhere out in front of us. Yet too much worry, too great a focus on worry and that same behavior has converted itself into looking for trouble when it is not there; into dark imaginings that will render you permanently fearful and ever dreading that the worst is about to happen.
We both know that statistics and logic and probability mean that what you are worrying about is unlikely to come to pass, but in the act of worrying you don't help yourself at all. It is very much the case that what your mind focuses on is further enabled and given more presence.
To take a simple example, if you worry about meeting and paying your household bills on time, you can get yourself into such a state of concern that you will magnify the problem and begin to draw more bills to you in the process! You are an attractor and you draw to you the same energies that you send out into the Universe. With this example of bills, you can reduce your worry by agreeing to spend only a certain amount of your time thinking about the bills. Beyond this imagine and visualize instead the bills being paid on time and in full. See the "PAID WITH THANKS" stamp upon each of your bills. See the mail arriving at your house each day with a check in the mail, with online credits to your digital bank account. See refunds being issued to you. Do this instead of multiplying the worry factor.
Sure, this is a cute example and does nothing to allay your fear about the things that concern and worry you. But please help yourself some more by thinking about the external influences on your thinking and which may well be placing their own seeds of fear and doubt in your mind. The television and the radio news don't focus on providing you with positive and inspiring stories. Instead they report on negative actions that serve only to create more fear in your mind. As an experiment let yourself do a day without either watching or listening to the news items. You'll survive the day and after a week of this you will also begin to see a reduction in the thoughts and fears that have been affecting your well-being for the worse.
by admin | Jun 23, 2022 | Declutter
Enjoying your Downsize Life is all about getting to the place where you are self-sufficient. I don't mean that you need to be living off the land, growing your own vegetables and distilling rain water for your shower and teaching your kids at home rather than using a state school system! Not at all. What I am keen on is the idea that you can live in a house that meets all your needs for space and utility, that your work or paid employment is fulfilling, and that you have satisfaction and happiness in the physical environment you occupy.
Having enough to satisfy and meet these needs truly is all that you require. Having enough means you having sufficient resources. You can be a creative indie providing skills and services or products to your various clients. You could be a portfolio worker holding two or three separate roles which, when taken together, provide the finance that is enough to cover your bills for accommodation and food, for clothing, leisure time and future savings plans.
You may work in a secure job that you love or one in which you are uncomfortable and looking for a new role that provides greater fulfilment to your own values and sense of what you consider important and nurturing.
Possibly you are out of work and between jobs or in long term unemployment with little expectation of finding work again. In any one of these situations you are able to give thought and attention to how you live right now and whether there are aspects of it that you seek to adjust or adapt.
Enough is about being self-sufficient in whatever way works for you and your household. It is about being happy with how your life looks and works. Accepting the Enough is Enough mindset requires you to separate from what the adverts and the celebrity gossip columns suggest are important and to be admired, and to instead just consider what you want. Having enough for your needs is all you need. Ever.
In a modern, developed economy you are doing well if you have a financial surplus being saved each month. Apparently, more than 70% of working households would struggle to deal with something as simple as finding $750 - $1,000 for a surprise domestic bill, like the failure of the central heating boiler. If you can pay your bills and still have enough set aside for the inevitable surprise bill or incident where an extra $500 or $2,000 is needed, then you are in a good place. If you can do this and still have an enjoyable holiday a couple of times each year, you are way ahead of many people.
To get into an even more positive position, think about taking away completely or significantly reducing any of the workplace stress or political troubles that come with employment in a larger work place where there is always someone above you, telling you what to do and by when, or giving you tasks to do which seem ever more difficult to achieve. To remove yourself from that requires an extra financial move requiring a radical reassessment of your own cost of living and survival each month. Where you can make significant downward adjustments to your regular outgoings, you are creating more flexibility in what work you choose to do to earn money.
This lifestyle requires you to listen to your heart and hear what your feelings are telling you. Where you feel anguish, worry, upset or simple unease, there is a message for you and an idea to explore. If you open your post and constantly see bills that are just beyond your ability to settle in full, this is a wake-up call to think about your monthly cost of living and start to look at cutting those costs so that you can live within your means to pay those same bills next month.
If you have possessions you never use and where you have low emotional attachment to them, then they should be up for sale and gone. If you have a three bedroom house and have no need for regularly hosting visitors can you be better off in a home with just one less bedroom, but which still accommodates your needs for personal space and storage? Would such a move either save you money in significantly reduced rent or allow you some greater flexibility over your choice of work? If you own your home and sold it to move into a different space that you buy for less, can the surplus you create by moving house then be used to boost your savings and reduce any debts for good? If you work in a place where conflict between employees is difficult, the quality of management is low, or where the rate of pay is poor, you can use these factors as motivation to find employment that better suits you.
Think about the areas of your life where you feel unhappy, stressed, worried or dissatisfied and consider how you could make things different. The easiest way to determine if there is a need for change, is to ask yourself: "How am I coping?"
Listen to your mind and hear the honest answers that come out of this. So, how are you coping? What can you change today?
by admin | Jun 16, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Life is not necessarily always going to run along smoothly and there will understandably be times when you want to shout out loud "Stop the world. I want to get off." We have all been there at some point in our lives. Personally, I am a big believer that we are here to learn the things, to understand the concepts and to appreciate the belief systems that surround us. And the more I think about this the simpler it is to get the point that change happens and for a reason!
If you are in denial about change, if you regret that it ever happens, then you are simply saving more times of disappointment, more periods of frustration and anger, and yet also more moments of lost opportunity. Instead you could choose to realise that change is actually one of the few constants around us. Yes, this might sound bizarre - that "change is one of the few constants" but it is very much this way.
By acknowledging this change conversation you open yourself up to the possibility of greater opportunity, stronger experiences, less upheaval by not denying the whole subject and you will very likely also receive more of what you expect that is good and positive.
When a career stops short of the time that you had expected to be protected by it; when a business folds or requires you to stretch beyond your normal habits; when a relationship arrives seemingly from out of nowhere, how will you be prepared for it? Will you have thought through the potential outcomes and communicated this quickly to the place marked 'Beneficial Change' or will you instead be looking to the place marked 'Change for Changes Sake' or perhaps 'Change without obvious Benefit?'
Embrace change. Allow it to happen and then respond with what you need to do. It might be to ignore the change until the timing is better for you to understand it, but you have to see that it is happening to you and let that recognition carry you through to new and better circumstances that will follow just as day follows night.
by admin | Jun 15, 2022 | Simple Self Help
You only have twenty-four hours in a day. So you won't be able to fit in all the things you could do, and likewise you will struggle to spend time with everyone equally. Think hard about the value of some of the relationships you have relative to the amount of benefit you get from them and how you feel as a result of being around those people. Some will be friends, others relatives or work contacts.
Try to be a little more selective about how you give out the time in your calendar if you are only going to be more worn down as a result of having done so. As with the phrase "less is more" when it is applied to meaning that a bit of quality is better than a lot of mediocre items, I think often that the same phrase can be applied to your own appointment diary.
Let your mobile go to voicemail now and again. After all the reason you have that facility is so you don't have to answer the phone yourself every time! Let people know that you have time out for yourself now and again, or that you are with your family and will not be taking calls, or that you are visiting some friends and will get back to them when it suits you to do so.
Put your family first and ensure that there is some regular time each week when you get together, and create something special.
I recall how as a child, my parents always took me to the cinema on a Saturday morning or how we would often go out early on a Sunday morning to walk in the country park or along the riverbank. The memories of those film shows and my familiarity with the footpaths and lanes that I still visit regularly in my adult life have their roots in those familiar traditions which were deliberately created by our parents.
What was important to you as a child, as a teenager and as a young adult?
The chances are that your own feelings and memories of belonging or of having an adult be interested in your well-being is just as important to your own children. Take time to do the same for yours.
We all appreciate the way that someone clears their schedule to give us their time and attention, so if this is true from our own perspective, what must it be like to be able to give that time and energy to someone who will enjoy having you and holding your attention.
by admin | Jun 9, 2022 | Declutter
Adverts tell you to buy new, to acquire more, to 'go large' and so often we fall for the message that is pushed upon us. We should own a larger house with more space, a greater distance from the neighbouring property and a kitchen that is more like a chef's showroom than a place for enjoyable family dining.
Of course, we are told that we need an extensive wardrobe that provides clothes for every season, but also for every month of the year, together with the absolute best of bags, watches and additional accessories. Each of these items comes with a well known and heavily branded label which we are encouraged to discreetly mention or simply show off to our friends.
Gathering more possessions and more debt is no way to feel relaxed and happy. The emotional burden of greater debt for the shiny new possessions soon comes through and starts to hurt and cause you pain. You can stand against the consumerism of the adverts, designed to separate you and your money. There is a simpler approach and we refer to it in our home as the Downsize Life.
I am in a place where I am happy, satisfied with my circumstances, living the indie lifestyle that my partner and I have created together. We chose to downsize recently and go through the declutter journey. We made a decision to look at what we need to be happy and solvent and at peace with our life. We took the steps necessary to make the income streams that are allowing us to pay off our debt and have around us those things which either bring joy or support our conscious move into what we refer to together as the Downsize Life.
This opportunity is real for you, for us all. It takes thought, effort and some determination to step away from those things which might well allow you to pay your bills, but perhaps come with an element of stress and worry. I am speaking here about the politics of a work organisation and the shenanigans that can take place there. But pettiness and upset are a part of life in any place where you have a lot of interaction with people, so don't think it's just about where you work! Let's get real about all of this.
What might you do to improve your life?
First, give thought to all aspects of your life as they are now. Consider your existing accommodation, money and financial resources, lifestyle and health, you support network, and your future plans and goals. In identifying these different elements take the time to note how you feel emotionally about each one.
Do you love where you live? Not just the building or type of accommodation, but the surrounding environment and geography, landscape and neighbourhood. Are you happy with the physical space you occupy, with the structure and design of your home?
Retirement Years
Re your money, are you earning what you need to live without worry or fear of debt? Is there a side hustle you can start to cover any shortfall for your cost of living or to begin the process of clearing your debts to other people or to credit organisations? What money have you set aside in a savings pot, both cash money for emergencies or unexpected bills, mid term money to give you a breathing space for three months or more in the event of illness, and real long term money that would allow you the freedom of stepping down from one job to take another where you will be happier and more fulfilled. What about the long game and being financially ready for retirement, fully prepared for the years of no job income?
Health and well-being
Lifestyle and health matters are broad in theme and topic. Here I am asking you to look at the way you live and your physical wellbeing and fitness. So many external factors affect this, but you choose what you eat and the exercise you need and take daily. Food choices and the quality of this is important. Perhaps this ties in with the neighbourhood and local shops or access to the countryside, parks and gyms. Interaction with community groups and activities can be hugely valuable for your positive mental health and well-being.
Like minded friends and support networks
Who you have around you as a support is critical. Friendships and networks of like minded people allow you to be your best you. They encourage you to follow your favourite activities and plans. They want you to win at the things which are important and special to you. Contact with friends in a real way, and not just online via social media, is good for your emotions and your mental health. Some of these people might be your neighbours. Others may be in your immediate family circle. I enjoy contact with friends in a weekly writing group that I attend and who I love chatting with over a coffee. Each year I meet up with some volunteers and we clean, paint and decorate a youth hostel in preparation for the next season of heavy use by cyclists, climbers and young people on expedition groups. Other friends are those I see each month in a social enterprise where they provide a pay-as-you-feel cafe above a food distribution warehouse that provides meal ingredients to community cooking groups.
Look at the people who are important to you and whose company you enjoy. If you want to expand your social life, you only have to search local noticeboards, both physically in local coffee shops and community venues, and of course in online forums and postings.
by admin | Jun 2, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Moment by moment and one day at a time, your life is happening and at the same speed your life is passing you by. You can end up looking back over your shoulder at the life you might have had, should have had, or could have had if you had only just got on with it. And how would you have done this differently? I'll tell you how. Moment by moment and one day at a time is how!
This is all you have, the now, this moment.
There is nothing else outside of this moment in which I am sitting here writing, late at night in a quiet room while the world sleeps around me. And you out there somewhere, reading these words on a screen or on a printed page in the very moment that is your own NOW moment.
So we must make some decisions, you and I. Another word for decisions is Choices. Choices to move forward with our lives in this moment. Do we turn left or right at this junction of the roads, at this crossing of paths? It is a bit like the way that you take your first footsteps as an infant - you do not know that you will be walking in the future, but you do sense that the next thing to do is put the other foot forward, and then the other, until it happens and you are walking! But you started with the next foot. Choice always begins with a simple action. Not with a complicated, philosophical, much thought about action. Instead you just did something. From this you get first one result and then another.
Most of the choices you have made have not been monumental in their significance. They have been ordinary, mundane and habitual. Yet in this very normal state your choices take you to some quite extraordinary places. They put you with amazing and wonderful people, allow you to experience the highs and lows that life will deliver.
Without action and then the movement and the flow of energy that comes from choices there is what? Nothing. Inactivity, lack of movement, zero forward motion, only stagnation. From such a place nothing much can come. But even the decision to stay down there is a choice.
So you see you always come back to the point that in order to Live Your Best Life, to attract the people, the opportunities and the feelings that you desire you have to wholeheartedly engage in making choices. Moment by moment and day by day.