by admin | Feb 3, 2023 | Simple Self Help
Time to be honest with yourself. What do you know that you don't do well, do badly, or can't even do at all?
You can carry on the way you have been until now, getting stuck on your own failings, inadequacies and weaknesses, or you can choose to focus on the things you know you do well and either let go of or give away so many of the areas that are clearly not your strengths.
In your own journey there are so many things that you do with ease, with brilliance and with total energy and sometimes even with sophistication. But you have to draw the line somewhere and acknowledge that there are some things where you hold yourself back, derail yourself at crucial moments or even sabotage what could otherwise have been an enjoyable event or experience by choosing to think you can do better or know better.
Consider the possibility that you could simply stop doing some of the "stuff" that others could do better and in less time. Let go of the desire to think you have to be right all of the time or even most of the time, and allow yourself instead to be involved with the things and activities where you can make a valid and a useful contribution.
For me it was letting go of trying to be in morning meetings and recognizing that my body clock just could not do it. The freedom and exhilaration I experienced when I stopped booking morning appointments was great, not just because it took the pressure off me, but because it also allowed me to stop disappointing clients by turning up late or not even turning up at all!
For a colleague who lives locally, it was letting someone else deal with their post and email management, giving up the struggle with believing adamantly that he had to do it all himself.
For a neighbour with a retail store it was the issue of constantly comparing herself against another similar business in the next town, and wasting time unproductively in worrying about whether her own customers might go over to the other business. Instead she developed a focus on what was great about her own offerings and why clients should spend their time, energy and money in her business. The happier she was in her work environment the more obvious this was to her clients and they did more business with her.
What is it that you are trying to do, and what can you let go of?
by admin | Jan 6, 2023 | Simple Self Help
Having been a salesperson for years I learned early on that if people don't buy from me there is another person waiting for my call. I used to have a terrible time in sales and life success until I realised this point.
In my first weeks out of university, knowing that I wanted to be around people and liked the principle of selling, I managed to get myself an interview with an office equipment company. I passed this and ended up being out on the road with my company car and sample machines. I felt physically ill sometimes trying to book appointments and then trying to sell a machine once I was in the appointment. However, once I could separate the fear of rejection from the process of selling, life and my work became a lot simpler.
One of the reasons it became simpler, was that I realized that selling office products was not what I wanted to do, and I found other products and offerings I felt a better connection to. The other reason - and the one that was the most important in terms of feeling good about myself - is that I grasped the concept that it was a numbers game as well as being about relationships. By putting more effort into learning better skills with people, as well as stepping away from situations that were unprofessional, I began to enjoy the selling industry. I also started to get better results because I was focusing more on what the prospects wanted than on what I had done before, which was to make them want my product.
Often they were as keen to find someone to listen to them and to be able to hear the problems they were facing. If I had a solution for their issues, even better! Where there was simply no common ground between us, no mutual reason for being in contact with each other, then as soon as I let go of the need to feel liked or appreciated, the pain was gone. Either there was a working opportunity to do some thing or there was not, and no amount of being nice or wanting to be liked would make any difference at all.
This is true for life principles in that regardless of whether you are suggesting an opportunity, building a friendship, developing a network, or simply getting through your day, you are bound to be in contact with people you just cannot relate to. The fact that they feel the same is nothing to be concerned about.
Just find someone who either likes you and what you have to offer, or someone who just likes the offer because it is what they need and have been looking for. Either way you win. Both of you.
by admin | Dec 28, 2022 | Simple Self Help
My late friend Ray Harris of New Orleans has often spoken with me about the importance of role models in his early life when he was growing up. At different times in these critical years people appeared in his life at just the time that he required help and support. When he was in school a particular teacher took Ray under his wing and introduced him to the joy of reading and the magic of words. Slowly but surely Ray saw his ability with words grow to match his hunger for the books that were placed in front of him.
When he left school and was getting work experience the right employer turned up at the right moment to give him an insight into what an experience of benevolent and caring employment should look and feel like.
As he entered the world of work and adult responsibility yet another man came forward to provide Ray with a model of decent, ethical behavior and of a value system he could adopt with confidence and surety.
Life is difficult and confusing enough as it is. If there is scope for lifting the load for someone you work with or cross paths with - and you are willing to do so - then pick up the gauntlet and rise to the challenge. Offer a hand up (as opposed to the charitable hand out) to an individual who strikes you as able to benefit from or appreciate the additional input you can give.
Ray has always taken the view that he was blessed with the support he received from outside his family and this lead him into an active participation in "Each One Help One", an organization dedicated to matching Mentors with those requiring that little bit of extra help.
Regardless of your age, experiences, work history or appetite for life there is someone out there who is absolutely ready for the input, guidance and contribution you can provide. Listen out for someone needing your help. Be open to invites for help or listening, for the sharing of simple guidance and suggestion.
Make yourself available and you will make a huge difference. Until you make the first step toward a mentoring organisation they will not know that you are there with the requisite strengths that are needed by someone they represent.
by admin | Nov 30, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Once you can recognise that the work you do is a service to others, that they have a need for what you offer, then the process of work becomes something else, something special. It is as if you can see in your own work the solution that others have been searching for. Take the time to look at what you do and at the skills you bring to bear as something that people have been waiting for and which they need.
So many people express the frustration they feel in their jobs, unacknowledged, less involved than they wish, with heartfelt views and opinions that are rarely consulted. The pain and distance from true fulfillment that we can all identify with so strongly is the opposite of the opportunity for involvement and service that we yearn for. Being able to deliver a role that is appreciated and recognized is a true motivator we can identify with and connect to. Through such links with emotionally nurturing work and finding personal expression through our work we can achieve a sense of immense satisfaction.
In the way you go about your daily tasks see the sense of taking care of others that is represented. In delivering your service others directly benefit. Perhaps this is because you simplify a process for them so they do not have to keep struggling. Maybe you bring clarity to a problem that has long been troubling them. Then again, it could be that you are just good at what you do best. Whichever it is others will line up to pay you for this skill.
Whatever angle you approach your work from, see the gains that you abilities bring to your client group and continue to do whatever is necessary to ensure that others benefit from your working with them or on the matters that aid them.
Whether they are internal clients and colleagues from within your organization, or external customers, we all interact with others each day and the scope to do so from a place of service gives you focus for your work that will bring deep satisfaction.
Explore what skills you have and which you have yet to develop that can bring you the benefit of the deep sense of personal fulfilment from your work. If you are to spend many years engaged in activities for which you get paid, then at least make sure that this work is something that brings a variety of rewards to you. The need for personal fulfilment is one of the most heartfelt desires we have and the scope to satisfy this demand through your work is so important.
Identify what others will see as a service to their needs and maintain your focus on providing your skill set to meet those needs closely.
by admin | Nov 11, 2022 | Simple Self Help
One of the least understood miracles of this amazing life is that you attract what you place your focus on. So if you have complaints about how things are for you, instead of seeing things improve you will notice more and more of the unpleasant stuff pile up outside your door, waiting to come in. It can feel like nothing is ever going to get better, as if your world is going to fall about.
In my own experience there have been several times when I was stuck in a problem and continued to make the situation worse. At such times the debts were piling up and the creditors were getting angrier. I made things worse by panicking and by throwing myself into a pitiful state of mind, imagining things getting increasing bad. The days were so painful that it seemed that all I could do was work endless hours and yet made no progress at all. Such difficult times, when they ended, came about because of a shift in my thinking, in the way I was using language and more than anything else because I stopped complaining and began to express my gratitude. Gratitude for what the experience was teaching me, for the opportunity I was receiving to learn about new skills, for the good things I could acknowledge and for the money that I did actually have.
By shifting your focus onto the good things, people and lessons you do have you begin to let go of a lot of the hassles and to start receiving more good, more beneficial happenings and greater flow of abundance, love and energy.
Expressing your gratitude for what you do have, for what you notice about your circumstances right now, in the moment, can bring about profound change. Start with where you are now.
This morning for example, I am writing at home, with beautiful weather outside; sheep in the fields surrounding the house; a lovely blue sky and a gorgeous landscape beyond the windows. I am enjoying a great cup of coffee and writing with a beautiful pen that flows ink straight onto the manuscript. My children are out on the beach for the day and enjoying themselves there. I am doing what I love and in this moment all is well. I am very grateful for all of this right now.
How about you? In this moment what can you be grateful for? What can you think about that you can express your gratitude and thanks for? Look at the things that you can appreciate.
Remember that what you focus on will expand and bring you more of the same. If you would like to receive more of what you want, take the time to give thanks for what you have already and trust that the Universe wants to provide you with more. So let it happen.
by admin | Nov 2, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Within my own community there are many successful people who own and run large businesses with staff either based locally or internationally, others who have a few staff and work in the town.
A characteristic shared by so many of these neighbors who are truly successful is that they rarely travel far from their businesses. Another way to interpret this might be to say that they avoid having the distractions and hours lost in travel and having to respond or react to other people's timetables. Instead, they recognize the importance of maintaining a strategic focus on their work, staying close to the pure heart of what they excel at doing.
Take a close look at your own work routine. Of the time that you allocate to being either at or in work, how much of that is productive in the sense that it creates revenue and other measurable benefit for you. If as an example, you could determine that perhaps one third of your working time is what yields the results, how much more might you create if you successfully expanded this block of time and received a corresponding increase in results?
The opportunity to spend a better proportion of your time in the activities that bring you rewards is not best served through wasting time in traveling, being away from your own work place or getting involved in roles that could be better delegated and left to others.
When a successful friend of mine was asked by a start-up business owner why he no longer did some of the basic jobs, his reply was both very simple and most illuminating. "Why", he said, "would I want to do anything that only pays me $10 or $50 an hour if I can pick up a phone and dial out for someone else to do it? That leaves me free to create ideas and products where my involvement and leadership is worth perhaps 10 or 20 times that?"
Are you doing what works and what matters? Can you let go of some of the stuff that comes across your desk and give it away, keeping your focus on what gets the best results for your own investment of time and attention?
