by admin | Mar 18, 2022 | Simple Self Help
We don't choose our parents, but we end up with them anyway! Some incredible miracle of science and biology caused you to be here. Get on with being here now that you are and enjoying the process of living the best life that is possible for you.
You can have some siblings or none at all. You may have aunts and uncles, nephews and nieces, and long lost cousins for all I know. See that there is a connection to these people and that through this weird and wonderful structure called family, you are connected to everyone else.
Your parents and anyone else who was involved in the process of raising you, performed an amazing job to bring you up in the world and contribute to the unique human being you are today. It is true that how you feel about them can either hold you back, give you strength or leave you with confusion, but they did raise you, probably when life was difficult and you were awkward or just downright hard work. Even if it is just an acknowledgement, you owe them something. Look out for them.
All too suddenly your connection with those you love and care for can take a turn in a new direction. It could be an incident, a conversation that goes the wrong way, a misunderstanding, or some confusion that triggers a reaction other than the one you have always intended.
They have done good for you and allowed you to be who you are today. Take the time to say thanks and to acknowledge and recognize what it took to make you the amazing human being that you are. They do deserve it.
We all appreciate an acknowledgement, a word of thanks, a small or a large gesture that we have done our best. For family this is just as true. Give the process some thought and then give them some of your attention.
Acknowledge the good relationships you do have. Consider how you might strengthen them, spend a little more time in them, invest in them emotionally for the benefit of all concerned.
by admin | Mar 6, 2022 | Simple Self Help
There is a time, a moment, a feeling in which you know that you need to release your hold and let go. Sometimes we are saying goodbye and letting go of a situation that is no longer bearable even though we still love the person.
It is just that we can no longer cope with our spirit being sapped and our radiance being extinguished by the other person and how they are around us or directly with us. At other times the letting go is forced upon us by a person who wants to leave us or by a life literally being taken from us.
Each of these scenarios is entirely different and there is no comparing the trauma of grief with the loss of a love who chooses to leave us. Neither should we look too closely here at the reasons that a loving relationship ends or is no longer so. There is no pain quite so bitter as a love that has been twisted and still lost.
The hurt of a love that has been taken for granted and cast aside is equally deep.
Whatever the level of sadness, grief, or discomfort, even anger, you need to get on with your own life and to do this you must release and let go. Without the space that is created by the ending of a relationship, there can be little true void to contemplate and consider.
I once read a beautiful story about love and the way that over time we link ourselves in so many ways to the other person we love. Each trip out with them, every kiss, each cuddle, every time we chat or laugh or cry together, we make a connection between their soul and ours. It is as if a very strong and completely invisible golden thread is tied to them and to us also.
Over the time of the relationship the threads and ties that bind us together are so many and so powerful that you literally cannot cut through them. This is not only because there are so many of these invisible cords, but also because each time you cut one of them you are also cutting a part of yourself, and cutting yourself is painful. At the end of a relationship the ties are still there, pulling on you even though the two of you are no longer together.
To dash headlong into a new relationship when the cords of an old one are still intact, does not work for the very obvious reason that you are still tied to your former love. So spend time in ceremonies where you get to first loosen and then to let go the cords and create a space for your own being to be free again, to relax your spirit.
The process of these healing ceremonies can be held wherever you want, though nature is always a great place for them. You should include a time where you are saying "Goodbye", sending them a message of "Safe Journey" and "Vaya con Dios". If you did not release them they would be forever in your presence, still exerting their influence on you.
Allow yourself the scope to step into a new space that is yours and within which you will be free to express who you are, acknowledge the relationship that was, to commence the process of healing and gather your own energies for the present moment.
See the process and the act of letting go as bringing closure to you, as a route to a different or even better point of your life here and now.
You can function well and be in a safe place even after the letting go and the release.
Let go and free yourself to regain who you are and to strengthen your spirit.
by admin | Mar 4, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Easier said than done perhaps. However, you know what it feels like to be taken advantage of or, at the other end of the emotional spectrum, to be loved unconditionally. There are very different outcomes from what could potentially be the same starting point.
Consider the relationships and friendships you have now and look at each one with a view to understanding whether you are giving as much to it as you are taking from it. Is there someone who would be grateful if you invested yourself and your energies into that situation. Would they be relieved if you took a greater share of the responsibility, or of the commitment, than you are at the moment? And would contributing more yourself give you a different feeling about your role?
Have you made assumptions about what it might be that is important for you, but perhaps not appreciated or understand what these important requirements might be for the other person? We don't need to be nosy, pushy or intrusive in order to discover what the other person requires or to learn what they might be going through privately and without our appreciation and understanding of the real picture of their life. We can learn about their concerns and worries, their fears or doubts, by creating a place where they feel safe to share, and by also simply asking them "What's the matter?" or "How can I help?" or "Can I do something for you?"
In the same way that you don't want to feel put upon, or taken for granted, consider the way that people will react and respond to such attention from yourself.
What can you do differently to ensure that your interactions with others are les than pushy and insensitive?
How might you engage with them in ways that are about the benefit, care and well-being of each of you rather than just yourself?
Express thanks to your friend, or to your colleague or work partner for the great things they do. Be clear with them that you appreciate truly what it is they bring to the relationship. Let them hear that you love the way they do something, or that their opinion and sharing of an idea or a suggestion really makes a difference and has value.
Do any and all of these things to show from your heart that you have an understanding of their gifts, and a gratitude for who they are and that you want them to know this.
by admin | Feb 24, 2022 | Simple Self Help
So many people walk around with their heads down and their hearts heavy as they go through life. Either they feel that life has been bad to them or they know that they have been hurt by someone else or by a circumstance and cannot bring themselves to let go of these negative feelings inside. I seem to bump into them often and smile at the opportunity that this presents.
To carry around a hatred or a desire to get even with someone will only hasten your own demise and cause you untold physical as well as emotional damage. Each day that passes with you harboring ill-feeling or worse towards someone only hurts you. Why? Because the other person might not even know or remember what they did that caused you to feel so much bad energy. And even worse - because you have never expressed how strongly you feel about whatever happened or about what was said, they might be having a great time in their own life completely oblivious to your own confusion, anger and grief.
In the wonderful film The Shawshank Redemption a prison inmate says to his friend that they have a choice about the way they (and therefore you and I) respond to life and the challenges it puts in front of you. He says "You either get busy living or you get busy dying."
Take a quiet moment, or a quiet day, to be clear about the benefits you are receiving by hanging onto the pain and anger of not forgiving someone their behavior against you. You might even write them a note, explaining how you feel, how you have believed yourself to have been wronged, and that you wish to move on with your life now and be free to receive more joy and pleasure.
You may be relieved to hear that you don't need to actually send them the letter or note! Besides, you probably don't even know where they live nowadays as you have been hanging on to this pain for so long. You can put just their first name on it and actually mail it, knowing it can never be delivered. Or you could set fire to it by candle and watch the letter turn to ashes on a plate, or even throw the letter in a fast flowing river and watch it be carried away. Whichever way you choose to do it, and in whatever place you go through this simple yet powerful ritual, you are making a decision to let go and to forgive.
This process of forgiveness and letting go works just as well for you where you have done things you wish you had never done and still carry around the thoughts associated with that. Let go of the pain and get on with your life.
Let it all go ...Let it go now ...Release it ...
Forgive all the people who you once thought had wronged you or harmed you in some way. Forgive those who you loved and where that love either died or turned into something less. Forgive those from whom or around whom you have felt jealousy, shame, anger, fear and pain of any kind.
Do this regardless of whether it seems logically the right thing to do. Your heart is not logical. You are not even logical yourself. Simply understand that if you are holding onto some sense of having been wronged, hurt or mislead or deceived in the past, that just your thinking about this is reducing your ability and space to experience well-being, happiness and bliss right now in this moment.
No person and no experience that is from your past should have that hold over your enjoyment and your choice to have and to create your best life in this instant. Let it go. Let it go now. Just release it all.
Be present in the moment and realize all the good that you have and all the good that you are.
by admin | Feb 20, 2022 | Simple Self Help
Is it all in the mind? Could it really be the case that the way you think about the flow of money and support and resources coming to you, will either create more or less flow in your life?
Consider this. If life gives you largely what you expect or what you ask for, are you asking for the right things? Are you being clear with yourself about what you picture in your life?
Be totally conscious about what you want to see around you. Ask for those things you seek.
One of the strangest and yet simplest rules of life is that you will attract and manifest whatever it is that you think about and focus upon. With this being the case, clarify your thinking and ask for what you want.
The universe will support you in the achievement of your goals.
Some commentators refer to this process as Cosmic Ordering, being clear on what you want and making a request for it, almost as though you were walking around a department store filled with the choicest of goods and placing your order.
Maintaining a Prosperity Consciousness involves you being clear about what you want, and I also think it helps enormously to picture in detail the results you seek to create and to manifest.
Build strong mental pictures of the lifestyle you seek to create, of the relationships you want to draw to you, of the environment you want to work in and to live in. The greater the detail that you can picture of these circumstances you are choosing to attract, the greater the likelihood of successfully creating the reality that will be a reflection of your mental picturing.
Expectation plays a big part here also. Expect the right things to happen. Anticipate the results you have asked for coming to you and providing you with all that you require for your life to work and be in harmony with your desires.
Create a mental picture of what it is that you seek to have and to attract, then let go of any attachment to the outcome. The Universe will work to follow your instructions so be precise in describing what you want, and thoughtful in the way you detail it.
Above all Prosperity Consciousness is about having the right frame of mind, and the mental energy in a positive place without distraction. This will provide you with what you need to have in order to fulfil your own mission for a life well lived.
by admin | Feb 13, 2022 | Simple Self Help
You never know when you cross paths with someone else quite how much, in that instant, they need to feel your love. You may wander around thinking that your own life could be better, about how nice it would be to get a break now and then, or what if it just worked out right for yours truly, but think about the needs of someone else.
Today, tonight, tomorrow morning, or next month. It scarcely matters. Someone is out there crying out in pain or desperately in need of some love, some kindness, someone who will listen to them. Maybe they just need some belief, some encouragement and some contact. You might just well be the person to provide it for them right there and right now. In a wonderful twist of irony the more you give love the more you will receive love yourself. But that need not be a motivation for you to give and to share your love.
When an opportunity comes around, take it, live through the moment and give what you know you should.
Don't hold back, either for fear of being no good, or for doubt that what you have may not be enough. Give of yourself and do not judge the process. Be free in the moment to allow yourself to release the good you have and the good that you are.
Life will ask you to share your love sometimes when it might seem unclear to you why. At other times life will place you in a moment where it is obvious that you are there either to give or to receive love and you will simply know what is to be done.
The excellent and thought provoking Course in Miracles makes the beautiful statement that "...there only two emotions: Love and Fear."
With this being so, then by giving love you create a place where what you give is magnified and the love you choose to place your focus on will come back to you multiplied.
The same is equally true of fear. But to spend more time in a state of fear and to receive the magnification of that same fear decreases the scope and the opportunity for you to receive love and its associated benefits. When you sense fear share your love. When you notice fear in yourself switch to noticing the feeling and the sensation of love and you will see the fear subside and leave.
There is no limit to love, or a cup of it that does not overrun when needed. Love is always present and around you, ever seeking you, ever available to you to draw from. Understand this to be so.
In the moment that you choose love it creates not only more love for you, but also opens doors that no amount of logical words or persuasive argument would ever have scope of undoing.
Focus on love and share it with total confidence that love is always both the highest option and the only real way to be in any given moment or situation.
