There is a time, a moment, a feeling in which you know that you need to release your hold and let go. Sometimes we are saying goodbye and letting go of a situation that is no longer bearable even though we still love the person.
It is just that we can no longer cope with our spirit being sapped and our radiance being extinguished by the other person and how they are around us or directly with us. At other times the letting go is forced upon us by a person who wants to leave us or by a life literally being taken from us.
Each of these scenarios is entirely different and there is no comparing the trauma of grief with the loss of a love who chooses to leave us. Neither should we look too closely here at the reasons that a loving relationship ends or is no longer so. There is no pain quite so bitter as a love that has been twisted and still lost.
The hurt of a love that has been taken for granted and cast aside is equally deep.
Whatever the level of sadness, grief, or discomfort, even anger, you need to get on with your own life and to do this you must release and let go. Without the space that is created by the ending of a relationship, there can be little true void to contemplate and consider.
I once read a beautiful story about love and the way that over time we link ourselves in so many ways to the other person we love. Each trip out with them, every kiss, each cuddle, every time we chat or laugh or cry together, we make a connection between their soul and ours. It is as if a very strong and completely invisible golden thread is tied to them and to us also.
Over the time of the relationship the threads and ties that bind us together are so many and so powerful that you literally cannot cut through them. This is not only because there are so many of these invisible cords, but also because each time you cut one of them you are also cutting a part of yourself, and cutting yourself is painful. At the end of a relationship the ties are still there, pulling on you even though the two of you are no longer together.
To dash headlong into a new relationship when the cords of an old one are still intact, does not work for the very obvious reason that you are still tied to your former love. So spend time in ceremonies where you get to first loosen and then to let go the cords and create a space for your own being to be free again, to relax your spirit.
The process of these healing ceremonies can be held wherever you want, though nature is always a great place for them. You should include a time where you are saying "Goodbye", sending them a message of "Safe Journey" and "Vaya con Dios". If you did not release them they would be forever in your presence, still exerting their influence on you.
Allow yourself the scope to step into a new space that is yours and within which you will be free to express who you are, acknowledge the relationship that was, to commence the process of healing and gather your own energies for the present moment.
See the process and the act of letting go as bringing closure to you, as a route to a different or even better point of your life here and now.
You can function well and be in a safe place even after the letting go and the release.
Let go and free yourself to regain who you are and to strengthen your spirit.