If you say you will be home for hockey practice, or dinner, or a trip to the cinema, don't then ring home to say you have been delayed or that you have to work late. I know and it has cost me dearly! It might have been OK if it was an excuse a couple of times, but to be repeated week after week will get you in deep trouble and understandably so as you begin to realise with sadness that others may end up expecting you to let them down.
One of my friends keeps a special place in his diary for his commitments and this always impressed me so much since I discovered this.
These are distinct from his appointments which are normally times when he has to show up and be in meetings or with family. William's commitments are different. Here he will list the thing he has agreed to do and the date he has promised it by, as well as the outcome of achieving the commitment.
Next to these he has the penalty written down for not accomplishing the commitment. He actually writes down on the paper the true cost of letting someone down if he does not deliver, fails to turn up, gets the report in late or misses the party. I had never seen this recorded before and it struck me how valuable it is to make a commitment and to honour the promise. Seeing his promise and the cost of not delivering written down in black and white in his journal, this was a tremendous wake-up call for me.
In the sense of using this approach like an emotional bank account he knows whether he is in credit or if he is at risk of becoming overdrawn in his relationship with the person to whom he has made the commitment. Is this a little extreme? If it works for you to do something like this yourself, then do what works. It does not matter what others might think about it.
Try it, and see if the real test produces fruit, namely that you break less commitments and honour more promises than you did before. If you can see progress in this approach as opposed to whatever method or behavior you were following before, then you know for yourself you are on track.
A promise to be there for someone is still a promise however you look at it. No matter that your train was late or that you needed to stop for gas and got delayed. In the eyes of the other person maybe you should just have been on the earlier train or filled up with gas the night before.
I can't hold my hand up and say I don't understand this, as I have been late more times than I care to remember and it was only when I focussed on the actual promise made that I found myself turning up on time or leaving early for my destination that I saw the excitement in the eyes of another when I arrived in a timely fashion and was there when I said I would be there.
Your own peace of mind will be enhanced and those around you will notice and comment with pleasure on the change in your behavior.